To all the women going grey


I got my first grey hair when I was 28

I was in a new job at a boys’ school and young enough for those boys to think I was quite sexy. I was on a honeymoon high after nine wild-and-free months working and travelling in Europe with my man.

And that grey hair horrified this brunette.

The greying has been gradual. Insidious. There’s been no absolute coup d’état – the brown clings to power – but the troops in grey gather momentum and ferocity as I advance towards forty.

Here are my options:

1  Keep throwing into my monthly grocery trolley the same box of medium-brown colour, to keep the enemy at bay.

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2  Get highlights to conceal the enemy (treason!) and start down the potentially slippery slope of eventually turning into a fake-blonde forty-something-year-old who is secretly pitied (‘Ag shame. Mutton dressed up as lamb.’)

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3  Surrender. Go grey.

For now, I’m holding out with option 1. But probably, a modified version of option 2, ultimately leading to a dignified rendering of option 3, is in my future.

And here’s why I’m not so stressed about going grey, and why you shouldn’t be either:

It is what it is

Sooner or later, it happens to everyone (even the lucky blondes).

Original sin kick-started the tick of time that counts us all down to age and death and no one can slow it. That’s ok. We know that the end marks the beginning and the best is yet to be. Nothing like an eternal mindset to expose the silliness of vainly (and vainly) fighting an inevitable war of attrition – frantically trying to look younger than the person in the trenches next to me. (*blush*)

You are who you are

The colour of your skin, your eyes or YOUR HAIR doesn’t define you. A wise someone said, ‘If the world was blind, how many people would you impress?’ The mark you’ll make on this page of history has little to do with how awesome you look to those around you.

We have a friend who talks about ‘pulling a Jesus’ – à la, Go and Sin No More. I’m going to pull a Jesus now:

Stop. Just stop it. Stop being insecure. Stop comparing. Your worth – stunning daughter of the King clothed in royal robes – was settled at the cross. Stop trying to find it in the opinions of others.  

For sure, make the most of what you have. Feel beautiful and be the best version of you. Worship God with how He’s put you together, and DON’T JUDGE how other women are doing that. Be a great steward of your beauty within the reasonable limits of time, money and product availability, tempering that with the truth that compromising on what’s good, right and wise almost always points to idolatry.


A lovely grey-haired young mama friend of mine says she’s going with Proverbs 16:31:

Grey hair is a crown of splendour; it is attained in the way of righteousness.

She’s seeing grey hair as a sign of the wisdom that comes from evaluated life experiences – like she’s earned it and she could and should be proud of her silver streaks.

She’s celebrating.

So, beautiful woman midway through this adventure called life, there’s no shame in flashes of white light where before there was only dark. Remind yourself that, possibly, you earned those stripes all the nights you paced the passage willing your babies to sleep sleep oh please God SLEEP. Maybe you earned them that year he got teased a lot or all the many years you waited or those months that were longer than the money.

Remind yourself that, probably, it’s just genetics. And that’s okay too. God birthed you into this family with these genes at this time in this place. You’re created for His purposes and for His glory, genes and all.

And it’s all pretty wonderful.

Dalene Reyburn is a writer and speaker. She’s the author of Dragons and Dirt: The truth about changing the world – and the courage it requires and The Next Right Prayer: daily hope for moms. She has a Master’s degree in Applied Language Studies. She and her husband have two sons and two golden retrievers. They live in Pretoria, South Africa, and there is often mud on their carpet.

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2017-09-22T00:55:56+00:00 June 27th, 2016|Categories: Ageing, Beauty, Identity in Christ|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

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