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Too happy in my singleness?

I was having coffee with an older lady-friend of mine and she took the opportunity to express her concerns for me. She felt I was way too happy in my singleness. I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, but I think if I understood her correctly, she was worried because I was content to be single?! If that was the case, then I’m not sure I appreciate why she was so concerned. I mean, isn’t that how it should be? Isn’t it how God wants it to be?

Personally, I am of the opinion that my marital status has nothing to do with my true identity.

I am the daughter of the most High God, a princess in His Kingdom, and the apple of His eye. The deepest part of me knows that I am my beloveds and His desire is for me. He loves me with an everlasting love.

This deep-seated conviction has given me complete peace of mind. It has made me so secure in who I am that I have become somewhat indifferent to the subject of marriage.

  • Do I want to get married some day? Yes!
  • Do I think it’s the end of the world if I don’t? Definitely not.
  • Can I live the rest of my life as a single woman? Absolutely yes!

How can I make such bold statements?

By discovering the everlasting love, joy, and peace that God gives. It makes me agree with the king in Ecclesiastes 1—everything on this earth including marriage is vanity. Everything passes away but only God and His never failing love remain. So why should I spend my entire lifetime obsessing over something so temporary?

You see, I’ve . . .

  • wandered the Desert Dunes of Singleness
  • stumbled up the Mountains of Loneliness
  • fallen down to the Valleys of Desperation, Despair and Depression
  • gone past the Rivers of Hope Run Dry

I began to wonder, how does anyone get to the paradise called Happiness?
The answer was surprising:

You get to the paradise called Happiness not by looking forward, no, you get there by looking up. Your future is only revealed to you by God at His appointed time. So keep your eyes on Him, and Him alone, because only He knows all things. – Michelle McKinney Hammond

It is a lie to believe that you are less lovable just because you are not married.

You are loved and desirable. God Himself says so in Isaiah 62:4:

You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married.

Choose to believe Him and let His words sink deep down into your heart.

Let them become the source of truth from where you derive your whole identity. God is not a man that He should lie. Dare to trust Him with all that you are—He will never let you down, leave you or forsake you.

Benedicte Badibanga-Mbuyi

Her real name is actually Benedicte but everyone who knows her calls her Betty. Equipped with a great sense of humour and quick mind, Betty doesn’t take things too seriously, is loud and loves to make people laugh. A social butterfly with a post-grad degree in political science, she has various unrelated interests which include health and fitness, academia, theology, psychology, history, acting, and shopping.