4 reasons why you should affirm your spouse publicly!


I am so thankful for my marriage.  God has blessed our lives abundantly and we have enjoyed forty wonderful years of life together. One thing I am aware of is—the health of my relationship with Paul is integral to everything else I do.  If our relationship is unstable every aspect of my life is in jeopardy.

I have met married couples who speak in negative and derogatory tones about their spouse.  They sometimes try to make light of it and humour people, but when married couples are disrespectful to each other publicly you can be certain their private life is not good.

Paul and I have always made sure that we treat each other with honour.  No, our relationship is not serious . . . we have a lot of fun . . . banter . . . tease each other, but there is always mutual honour and respect—especially in public.

Here are 4 reasons why I think it is healthy to affirm your spouse publicly

1. It re-enforces all their positive traits

When you affirm your spouse publicly you are highlighting all their great characteristics.  It is human nature to want to keep repeating those positive traits when you hear them mentioned publicly.  You highlight negativity and you will get more of it.  Highlight strength of character and that is what you will get.

2. Speaking well of your spouse helps you  

When you talk in positive and affirming ways about your spouse it helps you.  I know when I speak well about Paul I feel good about myself.  If there is anything negative about him that needs to be addressed, the only person I am going to say it to is him.  No one else will be helped by those words.

3. Positive words let others know where you stand  

If there was any hint of attraction to or from someone else, then your positive words will send a clear and powerful message that there is no room in this relationship for anybody else.  This is a sacred space and no one shares it.

4. Affirming your spouse is a great way to model a good marriage

In a world where relationships are failing and marriage is seen as old fashioned, your marriage can be a shining example to those around you.  Affirming each other in public is a beautiful and special way to model a Christ filled marriage.

When last did you affirm your spouse publicly?
When last did your kids hear you say how much you appreciate your spouse?
How often do you praise your spouse in front of your colleagues and family members?

Here is my advice:  

  • Start right now.
  • Get a piece of paper and list your spouses most wonderful attributes.
  • Determine that you are going to highlight them publicly at least once a day.
  • Journal from the beginning and see how much it improves your marriage.

Your marriage is sacred.  Keep it that way.
Treasure your spouse.  Let them know how special they are by your public affirmation of them.
No, it is not soppy . . . it is biblical and Christ honouring.

Carol Alexander

Carol is married to Paul and they have two wonderful children and two grandchildren. She has lived on four continents, traveled to over 50 countries and preached in most of them. She is passionate about Jesus and His Kingdom and has just published her memoir, Wild Hope. She has a PhD in practical theology and currently serves as Director of the Graduate School at Trinity Bible College, North Dakota.

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2017-02-16T00:44:13+00:00 October 24th, 2016|Categories: Marriage|Tags: , , |0 Comments

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